Thursday 27 March 2014

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 29 - Focus on just two facets of daily living: (i) don't hold yourself back and (ii) let go...

Focus on just two facets of daily living: (i) don't hold yourself back and (ii) let go... 

 Hi Friends,



I keep writing on how to move towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS giving examples from day to day life. You will find many more examples in my book, ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? Yet, it will be helpful if I narrow down the theme to just the two important elements that I have mentioned at the head of this post.



I have written about denial, acceptance, resistance, undue attachment, distraction, ego and many more aspects of human existence. I have also written how resistance within  prevents us from taking the plunge into new life, even though mentally we may appreciate the simple logic of the new paradigm that I write about. We refuse to look within and, instead, we lead a life of falsehood.



If we look closely, it is possible to narrow down the difficulty faced by us to two elements: 



(i) we keep holding ourselves back

(ii) we don't let go
Holding ourselves back is due to internal resistance. We cling to familiar things for comfort, even if we realise that the known territory is really not leading to any lasting joy or happiness. 



We have so many examples of holding ourselves back. In my last post I wrote about our resistance against simple participation in the fun and frolic of the Indian festival, Holi.



There can be more serious examples. How many times do we hold ourselves back from doing something worthwhile or close to our heart due to pressures from society, family, friends? This happens all the time, and the worst sufferers are women. In a male dominated society, women mostly have to fall in line with what society prescribes as 'correct'.



Every time we restrain ourselves, we move away from spirit; and every time we let go, we rise in spirit. We have got used to living within boundaries, structures and constraints.


Now, I can well sense the alarm that this premise could  cause among readers. What about order in society? What about the reckless behaviour of criminals and other fringe elements who can be disruptive to society? What about common courtesies? Are we going to scream and shout at others at will?

The answers to all these questions are found in two more aspects of human behaviour: ego and inauthenticity. 

It is the ego that prompts us to do terrible things. So next time you wish to let go and yet wonder whether what you are about to do is proper or not, question whether the ego has come into play. If your action is devoid of ego, there is very little chance that you would do something that might be considered terrible or cause hurt to others.

I have written a lot about inauthenticity - how we do not acknowledge the basic unhappiness within and often take it out on others. This is often as big a cause as ego for humankind bringing misery to fellow humans.

Finally, our value system is a good guide to steer us in our journey. But be careful. A lot of oppression takes place, especially of women, in the name of value system!

 One thing I can state with certainty: the more you are in touch with your being, the closer you move to spirit, your actions will always be in harmony with human existence.

Cheers!

 Deepak Chatterjee
chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C
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Saturday 15 March 2014

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 28 - The Indian Festival of Colours - Holi - is an opportunity to give up resistance and move towards inner joy.

The Indian Festival of Colours - Holi - is an opportunity to give up resistance and move towards inner joy.
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Holi  is an Indian spring festival also known as the festival of colours and love. It is an ancient Hindu religious festival which has become popular in many parts of South Asia.

The festival has, in recent times, spread to parts of Europe and North America as a spring celebration of love, frolic and colour.

 I have, in my previous posts, given examples of many ways in which we can adopt the posture of submission, reduce the resistance within, and thereby make a paradigm shift in our lives towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. Much the same way, we can try and give up the resistance within and take the plunge into coloured waters this Holi. 

 One interesting aspect of many religious festivals is that they are increasingly seen as social, joyful events in which members of any religious belief can participate. The extent of religious devotion is a personal choice. The overtly inviting stance where all can participate in the celebrations and fun is deeply cherished at the social level too. This is true of festivals like Christmas, Diwali (festival of lights), Holi, Durga Puja (fight of good over evil), the Iftar parties in the run up to the Eid festival and many more the world over.

 Holi is round the corner, to be celebrated on the 17th of March. I have enjoyed playing with colours since childhood. I also have memories of certain ugly things that happen during Holi - hooliganism, a license to indulge in misbehaviour for some, and a general menace for many. Whatever I say here, is with this caveat: carefully choose the company you are going to keep while enjoying Holi.

 For the uninitiated, traditionally, Holi is played by smearing colours (both dry and water based) on each other from morning to noon. People are often drenched in coloured water.  In short, you can indulge in a lot of fun and frolic by letting your hair down. Unfortunately, the coloured water used can also have menacing variations like the use of chemicals that can be very difficult to wash off from your skin or the more dangerous ones that cause allergic reactions. Once again, if you are sure of your company, you can protect yourself from such risks.

 Completely understanding all those who are against playing with colours, and without prejudice to their right to abstain from it, I still have a suggestion to make: please do consider, what within you prevents you from enjoying a simple festival of colours. Is it that old culprit, EGO, once again?

 There is a reason why I suspect that this might be the case at times. For instance, I have seen grown-ups getting cross and irritated when little kids try to play Holi with them! 

 Come on, what do you think is going to happen to you? A bit of colour smeared on your face, some wet clothes, that's all. What is the big fuss about?

 And you lose a big opportunity to submit yourself, just give up, and allow yourself to just be. As I keep writing, surrender is that big step necessary to move into your journey towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. Instead of waiting for that opportune moment when you take the giant step by adopting a posture of surrender, why not take up the numerous small opportunities that come in life?

 It is interesting to note that there are similar festivals across the globe that give us that opportunity to give up and surrender. La Tomatina is a festival that is held in the Valencian town of Buñol, Spain, in which participants throw tomatoes and get involved in this tomato fight purely for fun. It is held on the last Wednesday of August, during the week of festivities of Buñol. This festival is about as messy as Holi. Once you submit yourself to the discomfort of this messiness, you might discover the sheer joy at the very core. 

 Those of you who have watched the Hindi movie, "Yeh Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" have seen three friends trying to come to terms with themselves by shedding all inner inhibitions. They enthusiastically participate in the festival of tomatoes in Spain, and feel redeemed.

 Finally, playing Holi also presents the opportunity to rekindle old, lost or troubled relationships, to renew friendship and love, and to shake ourselves from the 'structured existence' that we all seem to get used to. It's a chance to break free.

 The English daily Times of India has an interesting story today (here is the link: Times of India link) on how long-ostracized widows socially condemned to wear only white and shun colours of any kind, revelled in the colours of Holi by snubbing tradition. 

Let us see this festival as a day to meet others, play and laugh, forget and forgive, and repair ruptured relationships.

 HAPPY HOLI!
Deepak Chatterjee
chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C
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Tuesday 4 March 2014

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 27 - Those who consciously feel and suffer their inner depression and despair are actually the lucky ones!

Those who consciously feel and suffer their inner depression and despair are actually the lucky ones!


Hello Friends,



I am back. I have more time with me now. Hence I try and come back as soon as possible.

So, how is it going? Many are able to understand and appreciate the logic of what I write, but have we taken the plunge? Not yet? Is it getting postponed to some future occasion? Well, I appreciate the tentativeness and resistance that is probably being sensed. Let me be honest - I pushed my own plunge by three months or more, much after I had mentally understood what this journey is about. But, as I keep writing, the mind is required only to understand and internalise the process and the suggested paradigm. Beyond that, once you gather up the courage to get onto the journey, it is an exercise of the body and spirit. 



I have written in the past about those who are suffering from depression and anxiety, and are probably heavily dependant on medication even though it may not be giving much relief from the deep rooted pain within. They have nothing to lose and are most likely to get onto this journey towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. Such persons have both the motivation and opportunity to embrace this suffering, give up the struggle and the defences, and move into a new life. 

 I am tempted to re-emphasise here that, ironically, those who consciously suffer from depression, anxiety and despair, are really the lucky ones. 

 How do you respond to this proposition? 

 For, they are only a few steps away from getting the first glimpses of BASIC HAPPINESS. Since they are probably living miserable and pathetic lives with a fair degree of distaste for many 'things' that most of us are desperately attached to, the idea of facing existence minus these attachments does not horribly shake them up. 

 This is strange irony. We normally picture a person engulfed in depression and despair as the unfortunate one who deserves sympathy and needs help. The only help he really needs is to be shown the simple path through his pain, instead of struggling against it.

 On the other hand, those who are in denial and almost successful in distracting from their inner, innate pain, will most likely shudder at the thought of fathoming their existence bereft of the innumerable attachments.  



Yet, I must highlight, as I have done in a few posts in the past, that you can take almost any unhappiness and build courage to face it without resistance and struggle, and get on board the new journey. I suggest this for it may be difficult for many to identify and notice their inner fundamental unhappiness. So if you are wondering what this human malaise is about, don't worry. Take any ordinary unhappiness, dissatisfaction or disappointment that may have arisen due to circumstances surrounding you.

 Readers can rewind back to Series 16 posted by me on Nov 22, 2013. I have given the example of a bad day almost all of us have had once in a while. That could be an excellent opening for moving into a new life. In time you will be able to notice the uncaused depression or angst within you.

 Read on...

 Cheers!

 Deepak Chatterjee
chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C
If you are following this blog through email, you will notice that the post that you receive in your in-box does not have the blog archives and other features. At times the formatting is not good. For a better view you can see the entire blog at: 


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