FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 21 - CIRCUMSTANTIAL UNHAPPINESS VS FUNDAMENTAL UNHAPPINESS

CIRCUMSTANTIAL UNHAPPINESS VS FUNDAMENTAL UNHAPPINESS

Hello Friends,

I begin this post by clearing the air between the two kinds of unhappiness, dissatisfaction, depression or despair we feel, and often mix up with each other.

I am prompted to take up this topic by a deep and interesting comment posted on Series 19 by Suprabhat Ganguly. You can read his comment by scrolling down this blog to Series 19, and then clicking 'comments'.

The first point extracted from Suprabhat's comment is: "is unhappiness all that bad and it has only negative connotation? If man always remains happy with what he gets and in whatever condition he remains, will it be possible for him to progress and develop? Will it be proper for a student to be happy with low grades that he might have got in his school or a professional who may not be doing very well in his career?"

I respond by stating that neither in my book "ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY?" or in this blog have I conveyed that unhappiness is bad. It certainly is painful and can appear ugly to us. Rather, my focus throughout has been on acknowledging whatever unhappiness you can feel within you, and then embracing it to move into a wonderful new life. The problem arises when we deny our unhappiness. It is then that In-Authenticity creeps in and we get into messier issues.

The second point extracted by me from Suprabhat's comment reads: "Man's unhappiness in jungle life of prehistoric age had led to formation of society. Had man remained happy all along probably the great discoveries and inventions of science would not have taken place. Historic revolutions have taken place through the ages because of unhappiness of people."

Yes, I fully agree that our dissatisfaction with so many things in life has led to great innovations, discoveries, inventions, reforms, correction of past injustices, removal of prejudices etc. India would probably not have got its independence unless an entire generation of Indians was thoroughly dissatisfied with the situation under colonial rule.

But one aspect needs to be clarified here. This has been dealt with in detail in my book, and I have touched upon it at several points in this blog, but another detailed treatment here will help all readers:

We all do feel unhappy due to various 'reasons' external to us. They can be our surroundings, situations, persons or whatever. When we are able to remove the 'external' causes, we feel better again. 

However, deeper than this circumstantial unhappiness, which all of us would have felt some time or the other, is a malaise that dwells in our spirits. This FUNDAMENTAL UNHAPPINESS lurks beneath the circumstantial unhappiness and often stokes it. Also, our circumstantial unhappiness can trigger this fundamental unease which, for most of the time, is kept tightly under wraps, so we don't quite feel it. This deeper unhappiness is un-caused. While we are mostly successful in keeping it suppressed, we do get hints of its presence - when we feel lonely, bored and do not have enough distractions. We divert our minds and get on with our lives. Sometimes we even manufacture external causes for our basic inner unease. We may, thus, end up blaming others for some pain that we feel inside. This pain is innate, and has nothing to do with the supposed cause. 

Some of us are likely to feel this malaise deeply. If they do feel it and are truthful about it, without getting into the trap of manufacturing a 'cause' for this suffering, they can do something wonderful. They have the opportunity and motivation to embrace this pain, give up all resistance to it, submit to it, and break out joyfully on the other side. This is FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. Just like the basic unease or fundamental unhappiness, this joyful state of being is also very much within us, but deeply buried. I have given detailed steps towards how this can be done in my book, as well as in previous posts of this blog.  

So, friends, I have not labeled any kind of unhappiness as 'bad' or 'undesirable'. In an earlier post (Series 6 posted on Aug 5, 2013), I had stated thus:

"I understand the dilemma that many of you face in a similar predicament. That dilemma arises from the interaction between two kinds of dissatisfaction – that from within and from without. One is existential dissatisfaction, the other is circumstantial dissatisfaction. Because they mix up, we are not able to recognize the more basic form of dissatisfaction." 

Even when we feel unhappy due to some real external cause, often the deep seated basic unhappiness also gets triggered. Although deeper unhappiness stays locked up, but often rears its head. Then the two kinds of suffering get mixed up. We are not able to distinguish between the two, and often our circumstantial dissatisfaction gets exaggerated. 

Hence my focus on trying to locate that un-caused unhappiness within us, which can be used as a portal towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. However, even as you move closer to this new joyous state, you will still feel the unhappiness or dissatisfaction about things external to you. The difference is that you will find more space between you and the external cause of dissatisfaction. Your approach to the problem will be better. You might be more effective in correcting a wrong and creating a better life. 

The last part of Suprabhat's query is even deeper: "It is the unhappiness of many people with the material world that leads them to spiritual quest."

I fully agree. As I see mankind more and more attached to the material world, I also notice a significantly troubled existence. The generally dissatisfied stance in human existence appears to be getting more pronounced. This could actually be good news. I quote from the last page of my book, ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY?: "Also my guess, and hope, is that the sheer severity and all encompassing nature of this collective human misery will itself be the cause for much of humanity to move towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS in the years to come."


Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C


Views are personal

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 20 - A New Year... new life... a new beginning... you can turn towards a life of enduring peace and un-caused HAPPINESS...

A New Year... new life... a new beginning... you can turn towards a life of enduring peace and un-caused HAPPINESS...

Hi Friends,

I begin by wishing all readers a Very Happy New Year. It's a new beginning. Can we turn a new leaf in our lives first and foremost by dropping old baggage? We love to carry baggage (old grudges, grievances, victim-hood, feeling wronged etc.). 

We carry this giant load as if it is a very valuable possession, very dear to us, not realizing that this massive structure is yet another road block to FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. 

Just drop this weight that you have been lugging for so many years. Just let it go. See how light you feel. You know what prevents us from shedding this weight? Yes, the same culprit - the EGO, the monster within. We do not realize how much of accumulated pain this baggage creates within us. 

My book ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? has several pages on this monstrous baggage with many examples. I will devote another post on this. I touched upon this topic just to create awareness about how we often obstinately dwell in the past.

As the year 2013 was going past us, I chanced upon the hatching of a pair of squabs (baby pigeons) on the flower bed at our dining room window sill. I captured the stages of their growth with my camera. It is always an enriching experience to see new life take form. Today, they almost look like adult pigeons, but have yet to learn to fly. Their mother often comes to encourage them to flap their wings. 

Here are the pictures:

(pictures taken with Canon EOS 550D, 55-250 mm)

The first time when a bird ventures out to fly, it just floats into unknown territory. Egged on by the mother, the young ones just give up resistance and let go. And, they move into a lovely new world.

Much the same way, if we choose to do so, we too can give up our resistance, surrender and let go. We too can discover a new life of FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. It is something you cannot imagine. It is un-caused peace and joy.

Finally, here is a shot I took from my residence at Mumbai, India of the last sun set of 2013:

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C


Views are personal

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 19 - We 'create' UNHAPPINESS for us all the time

We 'create' UNHAPPINESS for us all the time

The stance of my posts in this blog has been that the basic human condition for almost all of us is that of a lingering dissatisfaction, emptiness, meaninglessness, despair, depression and anxiety at the very core. We may successfully deflect our attention from this condition and deny it, but that is the truth. Many of you may be wondering, why the basic human condition is so unhappy. Other living forms that we see around us, notably animals that are close to human beings, like dogs and cats, do not appear fundamentally unhappy. Why are human beings mostly stuck at the level of FUNDAMENTAL UNHAPPINESS? From where did so much unhappiness arise? Was this intended to be the natural state of human existence? This appears to be at odds with most natural phenomenona, which tend to be more self healing in nature.

The reason for this is also part of our human existence. Like many animals, we humans too have emotions. Although it may look so, but our deep inner unhappiness is NOT AN EMOTIONAL MANIFESTATION. It is a manifestation of spirit. But, why are we so disturbed, at the level of spirit?

We humans are endowed with a computer like brain. We are far too intelligent compared to other life forms, even those closest to us. With our brains, we can strategize, plan, scheme, plot, forecast, project, be philanthropic or take revenge, wage war and do a number of similar  things. Our mind is an extraordinary tool available to us. We have the power to either create wonderful things that have benefited mankind, or we can cause untold misery to fellow human beings. 

Unfortunately, due to the very computer like nature of our brain, we have become the mind. We human beings are too mind identified. The combination with our ego, makes the mind even more devastating. This mind-ego combination has taken a stranglehold of the collective human existence. 

We think we are very smart, and can cause pain and misery only to others. But whenever we do that, we accumulate some pain in our spirits. It keeps adding up. This pain builds up not only when we commit ghastly acts to shame or blame others, or when we knowingly inflict pain on others, it accumulates every time that we do small things that are prompted by this mind-ego combination. 

Take the example of jealousy, a common phenomenon among us, humans. We rarely admit that we are jealous; we keep hiding it from others, especially from the person we are jealous of, and make a mess of it. Jealousy peeps out from our beings - it is visible to most people. What is worse is that we keep burning from within. Imagine the pain we are causing to ourselves. What causes jealousy? The same mind-ego combination. 

Every time we indulge in even a bit of jealousy, we create some pain for us. We do not realize it. Small doses of such pain keep accumulating in our system. Every time we scheme or plot unfairly against somebody, we similarly act from the mind-ego combination. The entire humanity has been doing it for thousands of years. The result is the accumulated pain in the entire human consciousness, which is reflected as the collective human suffering.

You will find many such examples from our daily life - seemingly insignificant acts that spring from our ego. I have given more examples in my book, "ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY?". We keep creating pain for ourselves through such acts. I have also described how we can, at least, recognize and notice such acts prompted by the mind-ego combination. Even admitting to yourself that you have been jealous or mean or petty creates that space between you and the mind, and the ego gets humbled a bit. That could be the start of a wonderful journey.

Keep reading.

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C


Views are personal

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 18 - Acknowledging your lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) status is also a sign of spiritual growth.

Acknowledging your lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT) status is also a sign of spiritual growth. It requires both courage and authenticity and leads to self discovery.

Those of you following events in India may be reading about the existence of an outdated Section 377 in the Indian Penal Code (which dates back to 1860!) that makes carnal intercourse 'against the order of nature' between consenting adults a criminal act. In other words, gay sex has been historically considered 'unnatural' by law. The LGBT community and the liberal segments of society have been struggling to get gay sex decriminalized. In a historic judgement delivered in Jul 2009, Delhi High Court overturned the 150 year old section. On 11 December 2013, the Supreme Court of India reaffirmed homosexuality to be a criminal offence setting aside the 2009 judgement given by the Delhi High Court. The Court has ruled that it is for the law makers to amend the law to decriminalize gay sex. This has been unfortunate not only for the LGTB community in India, but also for free, independent thinking. 

Anyone following my blog may have observed that the starting point of a spiritual journey towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS is acknowledging your entire existence truthfully. The basic stance of joyful existence is authenticity  or truthfulness about yourself. It leads to self discovery and acceptance of self. If you do not do this, you are in denial. Sadly most of us are in denial as far as the state of happiness/unhappiness is concerned. We may live our entire lives pretending we are happy. The first step is to honestly acknowledge the basic unhappiness within. That could pave the way for lasting real HAPPINESS.

I recall my own plight for many years. I was feeling my inner dissatisfied self; it was painful. Yet, I thought it was 'correct' to pretend to be like other 'normal' people. This pressure to be 'normal' could also be societal. Normative behavior is considered safe. Falling into a predetermined, accepted norm is often considered to be the safest thing to do. In effect we are constraining ourselves like prisoners. "So what? I have the comfort of being accepted as normal" some would say. Not being able to give up our comfort zones is the biggest hurdle in the way towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS.

Now imagine the plight of a gay person. If you have the courage to acknowledge your orientation and come out openly with it, you risk social rejection in some segments of society and, worse, you may also invite legal action! Yet, these are the persons who have done a big service to themselves. They have been authentic. Unknowingly, they have brought spirit into their lives. Leave aside their frustrations with society, they could be joyful and peaceful persons, having accepted a major aspect of their existence. That is a mighty starting point.

In contrast, those who are still not out in the open are often forced to lead an artificial, fake life, and are likely to be miserable. Much like the fake life many of us are leading on the happiness-unhappiness scale.

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C


Views are personal

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 17 - Where, within yourself, do you exactly feel the pain, the discomfort, the fundamental UNhappiness?

Where, within yourself, do you exactly feel the pain, the discomfort, the fundamental UNhappiness? Where, within your body? If you can clearly identify it, you can transcend it to reach the state of real HAPPINESS.

Hi Friends,

As you struggle to find the correct posture of surrender and submission by focusing your attention on that basic human unease, it will help to devote this post on where exactly you notice it.

Before I go further, I am happy to share with you all a review of ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? that has appeared in another blog titled, "SUBLIMATION" by G S Subramanian. Here is the link:

  http://subbusg.blogspot.in/2013/11/are-you-really-happy-by-deepak.html


Coming back to the question at the head of this post, I can share my experience of where within me I have felt the pain of despair, depression and meaninglessness. If you have the courage (not the kind of courage you need for mountaineering or bungee jumping!) and some truthfulness (authenticity), you can see this uneasiness dissolve and make way for bouts of joy. You add spirit to your lives; everything changes. You get a deeper, richer insight of things, problems appear less acute, peace descends, you actually become a more powerful person - not based on power that you derive from a position of authority, but just innate power that arises from within. If you are in a leadership position, people will look up to you, holding you in high esteem. You will be able to paint a compelling vision for your team members. More than anything else, you contribute towards creating a joyful workplace. So the benefits are huge. Do you want more?

My long years in depression and despair have helped me locate where inside you it is felt the most. Incidentally, I suffered for many years because I was fighting my pain; I did not know that submitting to it, observing it, was the way out. If you strike the correct posture, it can be a matter of weeks or months. Even those who do not feel the human despair deep within them, never mind; focus on whatever unhappiness you notice within yourself. Remember, the bad day example that I took in Series 16?

I felt most of my depression as a psychic ache in the chest region. It was like carrying a heavy chest around with you. The discomfort was mostly in the chest region. Since I honestly did not attribute any external reason for my depression (thank God!) I felt it almost like a physical pain. This is why truthfulness is important. For, had I unfairly blamed someone or something for this suffering, the problem would most likely have shifted from the chest region to the mind! The mind just loves to cling to problems. And, I would have lost this wonderful opportunity of facing my pain and moving towards lasting HAPPINESS.

At times, when my despair and depression were acute, I would also feel them like a lump inside my throat. It was a tragic irony. I would look fine externally, but I could feel as if my soul was weeping! So you can imagine how relieved I feel today as I sense that durable HAPPINESS within.

Similarly, much of the anxiety was felt throughout the body like a restlessness, often even a very mild uneasiness in the heart. While going to sleep, I would often feel this restlessness in the legs. I had to keep shifting my legs. Even at work, I would have this urge to keep swinging my legs. Many people do it.

Interestingly there is a medical phenomenon called Restless Legs Syndrome, also known as Willis-Ekbom disease or Wittmaack-Ekbom syndrome, which is supposed to be a neurological disorder!

Just as psychiatrists do not recognize the problem of depression or anxiety being at the level of spirit or a sign of early growth, I have serious doubts whether this urge to move our limbs is a neurological problem or a sign of deep restlessness - a sign of the basic human unease? However, involuntary muscular movement or twitching is certainly a medical condition and needs professional treatment.

I have given my experiences of how I felt my pain. Others may have had their own unique experiences that they can share.

Now that you have some clear indications of the physical manifestations of the deep unhappiness, it will be easier for you to connect with the practices that I have mentioned in my earlier posts, about taking your attention to different parts of your body, observing your heart beat and following your breathing. If you can hold your attention, without any mental analysis, just being a passive observer, the discomfort can dissolve. You would have taken a giant step towards spiritual growth!

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C

Views are personal

National Book Trust Mumbai Book Fair - My talk on creating a joyful workplace on 1st December, 2013

Hello Friends,

Do attend my talk on "Discovering Happiness at Workplace" at the NBT Mumbai Book Fair at Bandra Kurla Complex, on 1st December, 2013, 2 PM to 3 PM.

Look forward to seeing you all

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS Series 16 - What exactly is "feeling yourself from within"? What exactly is feeling and observing your pain?

What exactly is "feeling yourself from within"? What exactly is feeling and observing your pain?

Hi Friends,

The intensity and depth of questions that I am receiving from those who are reading this blog and my book, "ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY?" prompt me to dwell more on the questions that I have posed at the head of this post. For, I can sense that many of you are quite close to it, have understood me well, but are missing it by a whisker. So what exactly signifies, "feeling yourself from within" or "observing your pain"? That is most crucial to enable  you to take that first step in a spiritual journey towards HAPPINESS.

Let me focus on it by stating upfront what it is not. It is not a mental exercise. While all of you are certainly using your intelligence to comprehend what I write in this blog, which is also the correct thing to do, the actual steps to be taken thereafter have nothing to do with the mind. Rather you have to be alert and truthful to check whether the mind (often accompanied by the ego) has crept in. The mind just loves to make an entry with its great ability for analysis. 

Now let me try to make this clear with an example that all can relate to. Forget, for a moment, the innate, fundamental unhappiness that we all seem to be afflicted with, something that I have been underlining endlessly. Let us, instead, take the example of the day to day stress that almost all of us feel. Take a day that has been particularly bad - say, you had a tiff with someone, or someone humiliated you, or someone unfairly threw rude words at you. We all witness bad days sometimes.

At the end of a day like this, when you settle to go to bed, adopt a relaxed posture, and just observe how the "unhappiness" is working physically on your body. The mind will love to go to the reasons that probably triggered the stress or unhappiness earlier during the day. Do not fall into that trap. Do not go into the reasons why you are feeling low. The mind just loves that.

Instead, just accept whatever unhappiness or stress you feel; do not fight it. Do not deny it either. Often we feel we are being 'weak' by accepting that we are upset. So we pretend that all is fine. Not acknowledging your feelings is the stupidest act, and takes you far away from spirit and hence, HAPPINESS.

Now, once you have decided that you will not allow a mental analysis, also take care to see that you do not fight with your mind. Thoughts will come. Do not resist them. Yet do not get entangled with them. Be a passive onlooker of the thoughts. Please try what I have described above. You will be able to adopt the correct posture by trial and error. Gradually you will enjoy thoughts come and go, without you getting involved in them.

Having reached this stage, come back to observing what this unhappiness is doing to your body. Just focus your attention to the different parts of your body, feel the muscles, the aliveness. Focus on how you are inhaling and exhaling. Just observe the flow of air, without getting involved in it. Observe your heart beat. With practice you will be able to learn this art of passively observing your entire self. You may be surprised to discover that there is so much of stress in your body. Feel the stress, the pain of stress. If you can actually feel this pain, you have taken the first giant step towards HAPPINESS. Remember, this 'pain' is not physical; it is psychic pain, which we often tend to overlook. If you can hold on to this position, say for 45 minutes, and if your posture is correct, you will actually see the pain dissolve. You will also notice that the degree of your unhappiness has reduced substantially. You can now go to sleep. You feel much lighter next morning. Normally, the morning after a bad day, one feels the worst.

Come on, try it out and come back to me...

Cheers!

Deepak Chatterjee

chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C

Views are personal