Depression Cure: Why overcoming Depression looks so difficult...
Hi Friends,
This blog is now over two years old. My book, ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? too is shortly going to complete two years since publication.
Many readers of the book/blog, specially the ones suffering from depression and meaninglessness, often write to me. They feel a strong connect with the book, see me as someone they can relate to, and have a strong desire to share their life experiences with me.
Many of these are sad and poignant accounts - how one may have been wronged during childhood, often being rejected by parents, unloved, or plain victims of insensitivity. The girl child emerges as the most likely object of such carelessness or even cruelty. There is a history of male and female children being treated very differently - and this is not peculiar to only some cultures or geographies. It's pretty widespread. Yes, the severity may differ from place to place. Or, the biases are cleverly covered under the garb of culture or customs. That is not to say that male children have no reason to suffer. Often their sufferings go entirely unnoticed.
If you ask the parents, they may have an equally compelling story to narrate. As a parent I can tell, there is no 'perfect' parent on planet earth. Even the so-called best parents make mistakes. What cannot be condoned is when parent(s) indulge in criminality. The instances are many.
No matter how sincerely the parents may have functioned, the fact is that the images of childhood that we carry with us, are true and real. What we perceive is real for us. Period.
Much of the depression and despair that I see among youngsters somehow has its roots in their childhood 'suffering'.
So what do we do now? Such depression appears to be psychological, for it's connected to external causes. But all that I write is about how to overcome uncaused depression.
My prescription is as follows:
The single big reason why we find it very difficult to overcome depression by following the steps mentioned above is our desperate need to cling to the past, and be obsessed with the 'whys' and the 'hows'. We are stuck at the 'reasons' behind our depression, instead of detaching the suffering from its 'cause'. This point needs to be understood very clearly.
Read full descriptions with life examples in my book, ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? Read it slowly, two-three pages at a time. Internalise, then proceed. After you have finished reading the book, keep reading any page at random. You will discover a strong connect, and be able to sustain your FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS.
It will help, at this stage, to quickly rewind to some of my earlier posts: (please click on the links below).
Psychological Depression vs Uncaused Depression
Uncaused Depression is a sign of Spiritual Growth. Celebrate it! Embrace it!
Keep reading. Cheers!
Deepak Chatterjee
Many readers of the book/blog, specially the ones suffering from depression and meaninglessness, often write to me. They feel a strong connect with the book, see me as someone they can relate to, and have a strong desire to share their life experiences with me.
Many of these are sad and poignant accounts - how one may have been wronged during childhood, often being rejected by parents, unloved, or plain victims of insensitivity. The girl child emerges as the most likely object of such carelessness or even cruelty. There is a history of male and female children being treated very differently - and this is not peculiar to only some cultures or geographies. It's pretty widespread. Yes, the severity may differ from place to place. Or, the biases are cleverly covered under the garb of culture or customs. That is not to say that male children have no reason to suffer. Often their sufferings go entirely unnoticed.
If you ask the parents, they may have an equally compelling story to narrate. As a parent I can tell, there is no 'perfect' parent on planet earth. Even the so-called best parents make mistakes. What cannot be condoned is when parent(s) indulge in criminality. The instances are many.
No matter how sincerely the parents may have functioned, the fact is that the images of childhood that we carry with us, are true and real. What we perceive is real for us. Period.
Much of the depression and despair that I see among youngsters somehow has its roots in their childhood 'suffering'.
So what do we do now? Such depression appears to be psychological, for it's connected to external causes. But all that I write is about how to overcome uncaused depression.
My prescription is as follows:
- Has it helped you one bit by constantly rewinding to the past, and trying to get to the 'whys?' and 'hows?'? Yes, the past is probably causing depression to us, but somewhere, it has also become a favourite fodder that we must chew regularly to sustain ourselves. Even if you are not convinced with this argument, doesn't matter. Move to the next point.
- As an exercise, do this every night before you go to sleep: when it's all quiet, observe and feel your depression WITHOUT connecting it to the 'cause'. Feel the pain of despair and frustration. Just feel it in the body. Don't think about your suffering. Just feel it.
- With practice you will be able to easily feel your depression as part of your existence, completely disconnected with whatever happened to you during childhood.
- Noticing your breathing, and feeling different parts of your body helps.
- Once you have reached this stage, you'll probably accept my main paradigm that this pain of depression, despair, angst and meaninglessness, is the true inner condition of all human existence, including those who may have witnessed 'happy childhood'. Some are able to distract themselves and never feel the inner pain (well, almost!). I have explained in detail in my book about why human existence is so fundamentally painful.
- Just beneath this painful inner self, is another truth of human existence: the fundamentally happy core. The way to this seat of Joy and Peace is, unfortunately, through a lot of unhappiness. You literally have to walk through your pain of depression to reach FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. You are now very close to it.
- Even when you are somewhat close to your very own uncaused happiness, it would be a good time to forgive your parents or parental figure or whoever was the reason for your depression. Forgive them with all sincerity. Do that for your own sake. Not as a favour to the erring parents. True forgiveness generates a kind of Joy and Peace that you may not have witnessed before.
- Just pause and take a look at yourself now. You have shed a very heavy baggage that you were carrying for a long time. Aren't you feeling light?
- You will also secretly consider yourself lucky that you felt so depressed. Without that you could not have found the opening to your fundamentally happy self. You will possibly also realise that you had unnecessarily attached yourself to your unhappy past. You were clinging to it, not being able to let go.
- This path will take time. Please do not teat this as a one-two-three step exercise drill. It is an exercise, but it takes time to train your spirits, just as it takes time to train your body.
- This is not a mental exercise at all. Your mind is required to only understand my prescription. Beyond that, it's all about your body and spirit.
The single big reason why we find it very difficult to overcome depression by following the steps mentioned above is our desperate need to cling to the past, and be obsessed with the 'whys' and the 'hows'. We are stuck at the 'reasons' behind our depression, instead of detaching the suffering from its 'cause'. This point needs to be understood very clearly.
Read full descriptions with life examples in my book, ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY? Read it slowly, two-three pages at a time. Internalise, then proceed. After you have finished reading the book, keep reading any page at random. You will discover a strong connect, and be able to sustain your FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS.
It will help, at this stage, to quickly rewind to some of my earlier posts: (please click on the links below).
Psychological Depression vs Uncaused Depression
Uncaused Depression is a sign of Spiritual Growth. Celebrate it! Embrace it!
Keep reading. Cheers!
Deepak Chatterjee
If you are following this blog through email, the post that you receive in your in-box does not have the blog archives and other features. At times the formatting is not good. For a better view you can see the entire blog at:
