We find 'difficult persons' all around us; do we pause to take a look at ourselves?
Hi Friends,
This post is a follow up of what I had posited in Series 22 on 15 January, 2014. I had provoked readers to honestly ask if they found themselves mostly on the edge, on a short fuse, restless, impatient and with a reduced attention span, always on the rush to do something. Do we listen to others? Or do we quickly prejudge?
I had also commented that while it is easy to find many others with such traits, we rarely take an honest look at ourselves. We often lack that honesty and a bit of courage to face up to ourselves.
Ironically, discovering and acknowledging the negativity, agitation or despair within us can be the first big step towards a joyful life.
Ironically, discovering and acknowledging the negativity, agitation or despair within us can be the first big step towards a joyful life.
Why do we refuse to see in ourselves what we see in others?
Well, before we can display honesty and courage, there is something that has to be dropped: resistance. We human beings have profound resistance within us. It is not difficult to locate it.
Even as we are faced with a faint prospect of someone beginning a comment that we anticipate as going against us, we can feel resistance building up within us. It arises within our bodies like a physical surge! Yes, you can feel the resistance within like a physical force. It is so overwhelming that we might not let the other person complete what he or she is saying. Just a hint of a possible criticism is enough.
Noticing and recognizing this resistance too can be an excellent first step towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. And, what do you think feeds this resistance? Yes, our EGO.
It is not only when we are confronted by criticism or an adverse comment that resistance arises. Resistance comes into play whenever we are in any unpleasant situation. Spiritual writers say that this resistance actually increases the pain we suffer when we are in an emotionally uncomfortable situation.
Let us take an example: let's say we are getting late for an important meeting. It could be a traffic jam or some other unexpected thing that is taking your time. By all means, strategize and find ways of limiting the delay, inform the other persons who are to attend the meeting, and do all practical things. Beyond that, there is no point fretting and fuming. There is resistance in accepting the present position. If you do give up resistance and accept the present moment, you would have taken a big step in your spiritual journey. That doesn't mean that we accept everything wrong surrounding us. By all means take steps to rectify the situation or get yourself out of it. It is often necessary to take a stand under certain circumstances. But your action will be better if it originates from a state of peace rather than a troubled state brought about by resistance.
It is not easy, I admit. Whenever in trouble, our mind rushes to move away from the situation. In extremely distressing situations, only a spiritually advanced or enlightened person will be able to maintain peace brought about by complete acceptance which is also known as a posture of sustained surrender. That may be a tall order for most of us as we are dwelling in a material world with its pulls and pressures. I understand that.
However, there are scores of other simpler examples where we can give up resistance if we wish to. Say, I have done something stupid, and someone is pointing it out to me. If I drop resistance and just admit that I was wrong, I will actually discover peace. This come from acceptance. The opposite of this would include denial, justification, falsification, blame game and what not. That is precisely what resistance does.
If you have lost your cool over something, and others are pointing it out to you, instead of pretending you are fine, how about admitting that, indeed, you lost it? If we make this a regular practice, it can become a part of our persona and bring enormous peace into our lives as we progress towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS.
The easiest situation where you can just drop the resistance is in trying to notice and acknowledge the existence of the basic human unease within all of us. It is easy because, unlike circumstantial dissatisfaction, this dissatisfaction is un-caused. If we accept and recognize that it is un-caused, instead of rushing to 'manufacture' a cause, we can hugely benefit from that stance. What prevents us from accepting this deep discomfort within us is the same resistance, prompted by the mid-ego combination. The reflex action is to move away from this inner pain. Yet if you can convince yourself that this inner suffering is innate; it is just there, without any circumstantial cause, it may be possible to drop resistance and accept it.
Deepak Chatterjee
chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
Noticing and recognizing this resistance too can be an excellent first step towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS. And, what do you think feeds this resistance? Yes, our EGO.
It is not only when we are confronted by criticism or an adverse comment that resistance arises. Resistance comes into play whenever we are in any unpleasant situation. Spiritual writers say that this resistance actually increases the pain we suffer when we are in an emotionally uncomfortable situation.
Let us take an example: let's say we are getting late for an important meeting. It could be a traffic jam or some other unexpected thing that is taking your time. By all means, strategize and find ways of limiting the delay, inform the other persons who are to attend the meeting, and do all practical things. Beyond that, there is no point fretting and fuming. There is resistance in accepting the present position. If you do give up resistance and accept the present moment, you would have taken a big step in your spiritual journey. That doesn't mean that we accept everything wrong surrounding us. By all means take steps to rectify the situation or get yourself out of it. It is often necessary to take a stand under certain circumstances. But your action will be better if it originates from a state of peace rather than a troubled state brought about by resistance.
It is not easy, I admit. Whenever in trouble, our mind rushes to move away from the situation. In extremely distressing situations, only a spiritually advanced or enlightened person will be able to maintain peace brought about by complete acceptance which is also known as a posture of sustained surrender. That may be a tall order for most of us as we are dwelling in a material world with its pulls and pressures. I understand that.
However, there are scores of other simpler examples where we can give up resistance if we wish to. Say, I have done something stupid, and someone is pointing it out to me. If I drop resistance and just admit that I was wrong, I will actually discover peace. This come from acceptance. The opposite of this would include denial, justification, falsification, blame game and what not. That is precisely what resistance does.
If you have lost your cool over something, and others are pointing it out to you, instead of pretending you are fine, how about admitting that, indeed, you lost it? If we make this a regular practice, it can become a part of our persona and bring enormous peace into our lives as we progress towards FUNDAMENTAL HAPPINESS.
The easiest situation where you can just drop the resistance is in trying to notice and acknowledge the existence of the basic human unease within all of us. It is easy because, unlike circumstantial dissatisfaction, this dissatisfaction is un-caused. If we accept and recognize that it is un-caused, instead of rushing to 'manufacture' a cause, we can hugely benefit from that stance. What prevents us from accepting this deep discomfort within us is the same resistance, prompted by the mid-ego combination. The reflex action is to move away from this inner pain. Yet if you can convince yourself that this inner suffering is innate; it is just there, without any circumstantial cause, it may be possible to drop resistance and accept it.
Cheers!
Deepak Chatterjee
chatterjee.deepak33@gmail.com
www.facebook/deepak.chatterjee.944
@Deepak33C
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